The past few weeks have been pretty intense for my family and me, and things are not really going to settle down for some time to come.  I went for a fairly long walk recently, hoping to quiet my heart and my thoughts—and felt gratitude that there was only one F/A 18 and a couple of Harriers to disturb the stillness around me.

A lot of emotions rock my thoughts when change happens and I need to make adjustments.  My first responses are usually less than “spiritual” or noble; however, I recognize my pattern of letting everything  fly out the window, particularly my prayer life and my quiet times—while substituting what is important and eternal with that which is temporary and unsatisfying.  My hope is that this time I will do a better job of adjusting to the changes by recognizing the most important things in life and giving my attention to them—like my relationship with God, and my 4-year old granddaughter, who deserves my full attention because her mommy has left (because of her job in the Navy) for almost 2 months.

I can’t say that I am altogether successful, though—probably because my expectations are misguided and my focus is skewed.  This is new territory, I haven’t walked this path before as I am attempting to figure out how to take care of a child who misses her momma and whose emotions are unpredictable.  I think I can rightly categorize this as a trial, though I have experienced much more difficult times in my life.  I have this idea of what a trial is, though it is one of those words so common in Christian vocabulary that I decided to look it up.  Two of the seven definitions (from dictionary.com) stood out to me:

• the act of trying, testing, or putting to the proof; and
• subjection to suffering or grievous experiences; a distressed or painful state.

Difficulties or trials come into our lives with a purpose, “…count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience” (James 1:3); and patience is an attribute of God (love is “patient and kind” – 1 Corinthians 13:4; and God is love – 1 John 4:16).  As we become more patient, we become more God-like.  Paul wrote through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, “…we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character, and character hope.  Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5:3-5).

The apostle John was quoting Jesus when he wrote, “These things I have spoken to you” (when he spoke to them about things to come), “that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).  Later he wrote, “…and this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith” (1 John 5:4).

There was a time when I thought having faith meant getting God to do what I considered He should do or give me what I thought I needed (or wanted).  As time went on, my perspective changed, particularly as the things that are important to me have changed—in my heart I wrestle with the very nature of God who sometimes allows very difficult and painful circumstances into my life and the lives of others.  We all know the tried and true answer about suffering, that evil is present in the world because mankind welcomed it in (and continues to welcome it).  Yet we cannot leave it there because God is sovereign and He cannot deny His nature—“The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy….He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities” (Psalm 103:8, 10); and He is good and does good (Psalm 119:68).

Scripture also reminds us that “it is for discipline that you have to endure.  God is treating you as sons.  For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?  If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.  Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them.  Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?  For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.  For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:7-11).

Sometimes it is easy to slip into an attitude of “I just want to get past this” without seeking God or allowing the testing of our faith to achieve its maximum benefit.   Sometimes people and situations tempt us to be anxious, grumpy or critical, without an attitude of rejoicing in the Lord—and forgetting the admonition to “be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made know to God…” (Philippians 4:6).  One of our pastors made a comment Wednesday evening that gripped me:  “Every time we complain we are compromising God’s plans for our lives.”  When our heavenly Father allows situations or people into our lives that toss the waves of our sea, it is for our benefit; and embracing God in prayer, and with thanksgiving in the midst of our storms, impacts our growth and maturity as Christians.

I initially titled this post “Debriefing With God”; however I changed it because it is essential that we understand who God is and trust His character as the One who created us and loves us infinitely more than we can comprehend.  Yet my original point still stands, in that it is so necessary for us to know Him, to read His Word, and to talk to Him about everything that matters to us—because it is through our relationship with the Father that we find a peace that is incomprehensible at those times we need it most.