“But what do you want?”

Sometimes we don’t have much say in the matter about the things we want.  Finances, life circumstances, health problems, family dynamics, or personal limitations frequently dictate what get, and many times that does not line up with what we want.

I recognize that maturity in wanting or wishing has very little to do with age.  A child may wish for health, or in the case of my granddaughter, for her momma to come home from deployment; and the focus of some adults may be on “toys” or things such as cars, clothes, jewelry, or electronics (to name a few).  There is no defining age or maturity level for the things we need or desire, though, because we are human, and our lives are affected by different needs and “wants” throughout our years.

I was gripped recently about an incident in scripture when Jesus asked a man what he wanted:

“Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, in Aramaic called Bethesda, which has five roofed colonnades.  In these lay a multitude of invalids—blind, lame, and paralyzed.  One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years.  When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, He said to him, ‘Do you want to be healed?’ The sick man answered Him, ‘Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.’  Jesus said to Him, ‘Get up, take up your bed, and walk.’  And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked.” (John 5:2-9)

What strikes me so about this story is that Jesus recognized what the man needed, questioned what he wanted, then asked him a very specific question—yet the sick man responded with what he considered the reasons why he couldn’t be healed.

Such a simple question; either a “yes” or a “no” would have sufficed!

This story stirs up so many considerations, like my propensity for defensiveness in uncomfortable circumstances—or when a certain amount of “lameness” shows up in my walk with Jesus.  It is so easy to look at the brokenness in my life, the affects of abusive relationships, and the consequences of poor choices and point to them and say, “I have no one to put me in the pool!” or “I don’t like being this way, but there is no one to help me and I can’t seem to help myself!”

I’m suspicious that even the most responsible appearing people are inclined to avoid questions and make excuses when their vulnerabilities, brokenness, or sin are questioned.  But Jesus isn’t accusing the sick man of anything – He is just asking the man if he wants to be healed.

This is a beautiful example of God hearing the heart of a man while letting him talk about something else. 

Jesus wasn’t condemning him for being an invalid!  And He wasn’t holding the man responsible for getting healed.  In fact, Jesus wasn’t even enquiring about the sick man’s religious “fitness” by his adherence to the law for receiving healing.  What is so incredibly amazing is that Jesus disregarded the religious traditions of Sabbath observance in order to bring healing to this poor man!

“Now that day was the Sabbath.  So, the Jews said to the man who had been healed, ‘It is the Sabbath, and it is not lawful for you to take up your bed.’  But he answered them, ‘The man who healed me, that man said to me, “Take up your bed, and walk.” (John 5:9b – 11)

He didn’t just say, “Stand up and walk!”; Jesus told the man to “take up your bed…!”

The account continues, “Afterward Jesus found him in the temple and said to him, ‘See, you are well!  Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you.’” (John 5:14)

Here are some things that stand out to me from this story:

• It is easy to deflect confrontation with excuses, particularly when our sin or our religion makes us uncomfortable.  Jesus asked the crippled man a direct question, but something inside the man prompted him to offer explanations instead of an answer.

• Jesus recognized the man’s need yet perceived more than appearances and regarded his heart—that that the sick man needed what we all need, compassion and forgiveness.

• Jesus told the man, “sin no more!”  Was it sin that put him there?  How could sin keep him there if what ailed him also immobilized him?  We do not know, but Jesus indicated that sin could cause something worse to happen to cripple or endanger his life.  Was it the knowledge of a sin that he committed that caused the sick man to give an evasive answer in the first place?  Conviction or guilt often prompt us to avoid confrontation; however, Jesus sees our hearts, He recognizes our need, and He is quick to heal and forgive.

Sin isn’t just about keeping laws and regarding days (he made that clear in this story), it is about the attitudes of our hearts.  Jesus indicated as much when He taught, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment…. You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:21, 27-28)

Jesus offered a new beginning with unlimited potential for this crippled man. 

And a new beginning is something that so many have come to embrace at the start of each new year.  Since breaking my ambitious resolutions has been a pattern for me over the years, I’ve learned to approach the new year cautiously, particularly when it comes to resolutions.  Yes, years melt into one another and it becomes difficult to envision change in my life; yet God is always at work in His people “both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:13) He has begun a good work in those who entrust their lives to Him, and He will bring it to completion!

I can’t really say that there are things that I want because I have everything I need; but yes, there are changes that I want to see in how I relate to people, my attitudes, and how I organize (or don’t organize) my time.  I want the broken parts of my soul to be healed and I want to walk in confidence and grace with my Savior.  I want to let go of the crippling thoughts, behaviors, and legalisms that keep me on the water’s edge—I want to plunge into the pool of His love and forgiveness.  And I long for the Holy Spirit to flow through my life like “rivers of living water!” (John 7:38)

My prayer is that you do too.