I’ve wrestled with the concept of “generational sin,” especially as I understand that the curse of sin was broken on the cross. I’ve also been gripped with anguish as I recognize some of the attitudes and sins that I have wrestled with over the years, in my children. Ugh! Of all the things I could leave as a legacy to my kids, a critical, judgmental attitude is not one that would benefit them at all! Yet, it is one that I inherited from my family and one that is easily passed on in casual conversation.

Generational sin. It’s an Old Testament concept, really. Right? I’m pretty sure it comes from these scriptures (there are others that are similar):

“…The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.” (Exodus 34:6-7)

And…

“The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but He will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, to the third and the fourth generation.” (Numbers 14:18)

There are other passages where God declares that He will visit “the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate Me…” (Exodus 20:5, Deuteronomy 5:9) But I don’t hate God! I love Him and so do my kids. In fact, sin in my life grieves me, as I often recognize it in my words and my attitudes. My most dangerous attitudes, though, are the self-righteous ones, when I feel justified in my opinions and judgments, when I think others are “less-than” me in their actions or behaviors (and driving skills). The fact is—my attitudes are what my kids and grandkids are picking up on in my countenance and in my words.

Sin is in our human DNA, and the apostle Paul describes it well in his letter to the church in Rome:

“For we know the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.” (Romans 7:14-17)

I have the picture in my mind of a huge stone monolith slowly moving, stone grating against stone as my perspective begins to shift—instead of disappointment or frustration when I recognize in my kids or grandkids sin attitudes and behaviors that mimic some of mine, I’m beginning to understand that I am uniquely qualified to pray for them, to pray that the strongholds of the enemy in our lives will be torn down and demonic attempts to defeat or deceive us will be frustrated.

Fact is, we are all sinners.

“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:8-9)

And the path out of condemnation is the same for all of my family members as it is for me—through the cross of Jesus Christ. “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him.” (John 3:16-17)

“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world; following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience…. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved….” (Ephesians 2:1-2, 4-5)

We have an amazing God who is good and does good (Psalm 119:68). Joseph summed things up well when his brothers approached him, fearing that he would retaliate against them for the evil they perpetrated against him: “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” (Genesis 50:20) It was a family situation that involved evil plans, enemy actions, and the willingness of one man willing to break a destructive pattern through forgiveness.

And we can break the brokenness of our lives through receiving and extending forgiveness!

I think teachings about generational sin are tricky. I’ve heard them, though I don’t know how common they are. Are we under some kind of special curse because of sin patterns like abuse, rage, or alcoholism lurking within our genealogy? We are sinners and if we recognize patterns of sin in our lives that are similar to other family members, we can be assured that we are not unique—we are all members of the fallen human race.

The prophet Ezekiel wrote, “The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, not the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself. But if a wicked person turns away from all his sins that he has committed and keeps all my statutes and does what is just and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of the transgressions that he has committed shall be remembered against him; for the righteousness that he has done he shall live. Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, declares the Lord God, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live?” (Ezekiel 18:20-23)

Here is our hope:

“For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasure, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to His own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.” (Titus 3:3-7)