I love the fresh fruit and vegetables of summer, though I don’t live where I can have a garden. Also, I’m pretty sure I have a brown thumb—plants don’t seem to survive under my care. But I am pleasantly surprised and blessed when I go to church and there is a box of the abundant overflow of someone’s garden. Squash, tomatoes, beans, apples…

I’m always a bit hesitant to take any cucumbers, though. I’m not sure why (because I’m not a gardener), home grown cucumbers are often bitter either just on the ends or all the way through. I’ve heard it has to do with how much they were watered when they were growing, but I don’t know. I do know that I really do not like bitter cucumbers!

I picked up several cucumbers at church recently—I took small ones—and hesitantly cut into them. I was pleasantly surprised that they were sweet and good to eat. However, it got me to thinking about bitterness and how unpleasant it is to bite into a bitter one. Whether bitter just on the ends or bitter all the way through, I don’t want them!

Bitterness in people is distasteful, too; and like cucumbers, it starts out as a little bit and soon becomes unpleasantly bitter. And I’ve noticed as people grow older, they either grow sweeter or increasingly bitter.

The Holy Spirit, through the apostle Paul, wrote, “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ sprigs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled…” (Hebrews 12:15)

The picture that scripture portrays is one of a seed that sprouts, develops roots, and a plant springs up and causes trouble—like a weed, that if not dealt with, will eventually overtake a garden.

Just an itty-bitty thing. A thoughtless comment, an injustice or offense, an inconsiderate action, an unintentional slight or a moment of forgetfulness… And we subconsciously pull out a tally sheet and a seed is planted.

It is interesting to consider the first part of the verse: “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God…”. When we have an accurate picture of who we are and the grace by which we are saved, we can extend that grace to others. I think the problem, with me, anyway, is that I often forget the grace of God towards me, and I don’t have an accurate picture of how completely wretched I am apart from it. So, I become stingy with the grace I show to others.

Paul wrote in Ephesians, “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away for you with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:30-32)

I’ve struggled with this, particularly with my daughter and granddaughter—my struggle is this: I see them talking the way I talk, complaining the way I complain, annoyed the way I am annoyed—mirroring me. And when I am driving? Oh my! Let me tell you!

There is a country road, what I would call a highway, between where we live and church. The posted speed is 35 mph because it goes by the small, regional airport. Just driving down the road with no cars around, I drive a comfortable 45 mph, as most people do (or faster!). However, a few people drive the speed limit, and it drives me crazy. And sometimes, people don’t use their blinker turning in to the airport. …or some other driving “infraction”, some other place, or some other time. …or some person in the checkout line at the grocery store doing something I find annoying.

I get a little grumpy. And verbal. And very expressive of my opinions—just in my mind or to my daughter or granddaughter, but the thought, the attitude of offense is there.

And I must think, Do I have a root of bitterness inside me? Do I feel offended, slighted, not receiving the consideration that I think I am due?

This may be one of my “rabbit trails”; however, do I love my neighbor as myself? …or do I love myself a little too much and my neighbor not quite enough?

And how does a “root of bitterness” start and grow into a weed?

There were injustices when I was little; my mother died, there were inequities and sometimes cruelties with my stepmom and (like most people) with life in general. I didn’t know how to deal with it, so, in frustration, I swallowed it—like a pill, bitterness is often swallowed instead of surrendered.

Bitterness is sneaky; it hides where I’m not looking. The only reason I know it is there is because it slips out of my mouth when I’m judging instead of loving. …and when I hear my words coming out of my children’s mouths.

I’ve been a Christian long enough to know that I can’t “fix” it, I can’t cleanse myself; however, I have this hope, “If we [I] confess our [my] sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us [me] our [my] sins and to cleanse us [me] from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

This is my prayer:

Lord, take the bitterness of our hearts, fill us with joy, and—“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer!” (Psalm 19:14)

In a few weeks, I will be getting together with family members that I haven’t seen in many years to celebrate the life of one of my brothers, who passed away this summer. Although I have been a Christian for a long time, I recall many conversations with family