[This is the last blog I wrote, and I didn’t post it. If you look at the date of my last post, you’ll notice that I have written much less frequently as time went on. Then I started writing this and I stopped completely—because posting this about such a vulnerable spot in my soul was like exposing a fresh wound, and I just wanted to hide it and protect it. I do not know the depths of my injuries, but I know that Jesus came “…to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and freedom to the prisoners….” I know first-hand God’s healing power and I thank Him and give Him praise for the healing work He has done in me.]

Just so you know, I am not a “trained professional”; what I have learned, I have learned the hard way—experience. I admit that shame has been my constant companion and “motivator” most of my life. Shame is both interesting and insidious, and it tends to stick to us (me, anyway) like super glue. There are all sorts of ways shame comes calling and establishes residence in our lives. I have no doubt it is one of the enemy’s favorite tools to keep us stuck in the past, stuck in our wounds, and stuck in unforgiveness. Shaking free of it is a work of grace and healing, and forgiveness—sometimes for the unthinkable.

Of course, we all know that there is “good” shame, when we lie or steal or disobey God in some way or another and are convicted of our sin. However, shame insinuates itself into our lives and makes us feel bad for just being ourselves, by making faux pas (not sin, just human), feeling humiliation deep down into the very core of us. It is not merely embarrassment; instead, it subtly insinuates that, I didn’t just make a mistake; rather, I am a mistake. I “should” be better than this.

It can establish roots in our hearts from an early age, and it intertwines its roots and branches in our thoughts, our perceptions, and our emotions. I can think of a couple of specific occasions when I was a child that I was deeply shamed. And it grew in me as I got older. One way shame manifested itself through me was as a people pleaser. It has been difficult for me to have opinions or do things for myself because I was wrong. People told me so.

But that is not how God intended me to be. Here are some descriptions that describe believers in Jesus (that’s me!), those who have committed their lives to Him and now have a place prepared for them in His kingdom:

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His possession, so that you may proclaim the praises of the One who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” (1 Peter 2:9)

I am chosen.

“The Spirit Himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God’s children, and if children, also heirs—heirs of God and coheirs with Christ—” (Romans 8:16-17a)

I am a child of God, a coheir with Christ.

“For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is God’s gift—not from works, so that no one can boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared ahead of time for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:8-10)

He designed and created us in Christ Jesus for good works—we are His workmanship, there is nothing to be ashamed of in Him!

“I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6)

What He started, He will finish—He said so—it’s just up to me to “believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him.” (Hebrews 11:6)

It is a journey, a faith journey, to Jesus. To know and understand that He bore my sins and my shame on Calvary’s cross. To be set free, because “if the Son sets you free, you really will be free!” (John 8:36)

May we all enjoy the peace, joy, and freedom found only in Jesus!