I was upset as I read a comment someone made on another’s post a few days ago, adding scorn and criticism to an already wounded soul. I think it is the many broken places in my own life that stirs my heart with compassion when I hear of someone else’s struggles—I don’t always recognize the depth of the wounds, but there is a point in acknowledging my personal weaknesses, wounds, struggles, and disappointments that positions me to identify with those who are facing similar battles.
Scripture confirms, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:3, 4). So amazing that our Father, the God of all comfort, entrusts the ministry of comforting others to broken people—yet it is in that very brokenness that we are able to identify with the vulnerabilities of others. It took me a very long time to figure out that it is not from what I think are my strengths that I can do most good, it is from a place of vulnerability where I can touch the lives of others.
There are two well-known stories in the New Testament that reveal God’s heart of compassion: the story of the Good Samaritan when Jesus taught that compassion towards all people was the essence of being a good neighbor (Luke 10:33, 34); and the story of the prodigal son, when the Father ran out to meet his dirty, broken son—and He embraced the son in His arms, calling for a great feast to celebrate the son’s return (Luke 15:20-24).
Many times, though, we do not consider with compassion those who are different from us. …and people who bear the scars of sin and shame, or the ones facing big consequences for seemingly small errors in judgment also come under the canopy of our silent judgment. We may not admit to despising someone, though our criticisms speak otherwise. The Holy Spirit, through Solomon cautions, “Whoever despises his neighbor is a sinner, but blessed is he who is generous to the poor” or as the New Living Translations puts it, “It is a sin to belittle one’s neighbor; blessed are those who help the poor” (Proverbs 14:21). Often it is much easier to be generous with our money than it is with our assessments of others!
I recognize that, as humans, many of us have the propensity to be judgmental in our opinions of others. I have a pretty good idea why we do it, based primarily on my own foibles (my “official” qualifications for understanding behavior). It took a very long time for me to realize that perfection does not make me lovable, though many of the messages I received throughout my childhood, some relationships, and from fear-based religion seemed to communicate that flawlessness is what it takes to be accepted, and loveable. …therefore, I could only see others from the perspective of what I thought I should be, not who I am—a sinner saved by grace—and judged them accordingly.
God’s admonition to Samuel serves as a reminder that there is so much more to what we see of a person or the difficulties they may be facing: “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). We really have narrow perspectives with our backgrounds and unique personalities; it is so easy to figure out how people and things “should be” from where we are standing in life without seeing from the perspectives of others.
We also have a very limited view from the pinnacle of our strengths, “I did this” or “I was able to overcome this bad habit”, “you should be able to do it, too”. That message came home to me many years ago; as “food issues”, and weight issues, and self-acceptance issues have circled the nest of my heart for so very long, the messages of “why don’t you just control yourself?” or “why can’t you just stop eating”, or “you could do this if you would just try” or “…if you wanted to” came piercing my soul with shame and condemnation. Oh, how we judge the outward appearances of others! Oh, how we judge the parenting skills of others! Oh, how we judge the driving habits of others! Who escapes the judge and jury of our inward voices and personal strengths?
Yet, the battlefields in many lives are rarely obvious—the battles are taking place in the unseen corners of our souls that only God can see, and though the victories may not be discernable to others, we know that Jesus came to heal the broken-hearted and set captives free. We have His promise that the good work He began in our lives, He will bring to completion when we see Jesus. We are His work of art, created in Christ Jesus for a lifetime of good works which our Father prepared for us. We are valuable because God says so—and so are those who we are so quick to judge.
The apostle Paul quite understood where his true strength lay, “But He said to me, ‘my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9, 10).
Christ’s act of redemption has many dimensions—one being that He is replacing our hearts of stone with soft hearts: “I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26). It is a rewarding journey when we allow God to remove the rocks that crop up in our hearts, clearing our paths for greater usefulness to His kingdom. As we allow Him to mold our hearts, our ability to “love one another with brotherly affection”, “to outdo one another in showing honor”, bless those who persecute you…rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep, live in harmony with one another…not be haughty, but associate with the lowly, never be wise in your own sight…do what is honorable in the sight of all”, and “…so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” will grow. (Romans 12:10-18).
May we continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, allowing Him to heal our hearts and teach us how to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
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You are absolutely right in what you say, however the bible also talks about the sheep and the goats, wheat and chaff, etc…I left my church some time ago not only for doctrine differences, but lies, gossip,slander, false judgement, this sort of thing.I find it odd how people can sit through a sermon, raising their hands foreward, closing their eyes, praising God, and singing songs to edify Him.After service during fellowship, the old man comes out.Conversations turn dark.”So and so just bought a new car, and their kids cant afford hockey”, or “did you hear about Janet moving in with so” .The stories are endless, and it spills out into peoples daily lives. Where is the encouragement, the guidance, the compassion, the heart for others gone?
Feel free to delete this post, respond to it, or reply to me.It was only intended to be a point to ponder.~ Emmanuel~
Emmanuel, I left one church because of faulty doctrines, and I have attended three other churches where pastors had affairs–fortunately, they do not represent all churches! However, we definitely hope for more from the church we attend, and with the moves I’ve made over the past few years I have found some amazing ones! Perfect? No. Biblical? Yes – those are the only ones I will attend.
I have walked out of amazing times of worship, gone home and sat down in front of the TV. And life happens; we tend to share with others the things going on in our lives, which really is a good thing – because we do not want any part of our lives to exist outside of God’s love and care. We tend to share facts, though, because they are safe. Sharing what is going on in our hearts, our hopes and dreams, our struggles with faith or finances, is difficult – often we do not feel safe opening up about the temptations we are facing or the weakness and vulnerability we may be feeling. Because of gossip. Because of judgment or criticism. Because of people trying to “fix” us without truly hearing our hearts or God’s voice. And the only way any of this will change is as our intimacy with Jesus grows. And our intimacy with Christ most often grows through the difficulties God allows into our lives.
I also believe that the church is facing a sifting time when greater divisions will arise between what is true and what is false. As persecution grows, people will be forced to decide whether they are going to press into knowing Jesus or take the “safe” routes in terms of the world’s systems and demonic delusions. I think as time goes on, the friends and fellowship we have with other believers are going to be our greatest treasures and sources of comfort–so the enemy wants to destroy those relationships and cause divisions amongst believers.
As I wrote my blog, I had to be careful not to become a judge of those who criticize, putting them into the position of victim. My desire is to lift Jesus up in what I write, encouraging others to press into knowing the love of our Savior – yet not compromising truth or making allowances for sin in our lives. Not easily done! It is only as we are filled with the Holy Spirit and walk the daily paths of our lives in His fullness that we can become the people He has designed us to be and enjoy the blessings of fellowship He planned for us.
So what do we do in the mean time? We pray. We pray for pastors and elders, and ministry leaders – that they would teach the Bible and lead with integrity. We pray for the church, that God would heal the broken places in our lives, that we would desire more of Jesus, that we would be sensitive to the voice of God’s Spirit and be responsive to His conviction, that we would hunger for truth and spend time reading and meditating on His Word, and that we would “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave” us.
Sue
Do agree with most all your post. Except😔 the driving example. It isn’t a matter of judging someone else’s driving. Bad driving, whether you sit in judgement of it or not, kills people. We need to report bad drivers (by that I mean those driving erratically, driving too fast or under the influence of alcohol or drugs. It’s the law. And it’s the compassionate thing to do if we care about the victims of such behavior. Just sayin’.
I completely agree with you, Rebecca – that was a poor example because it is important to report those who are driving erratically, endangering their lives and the lives of others. Here is the perspective I am coming from, having made many long distance journeys with my daughter (one of them was from VA to CA): We so frequently (and I include her because we both have felt Holy Spirit conviction about our attitudes) sit in the car, critiquing the driving habits of others: they turned on their turn signals too late, too soon, or forgot to turn them on…they merged into traffic too slowly or too fast…thereby inconveniencing us…they should turn on their headlights…they must not be watching the road…where did they get their driver’s license, from a cereal box?– driving errors that most of us make on occasion (though we tend to overlook our own driving mistakes–I’m pretty sure everyone makes them, but I could be wrong). Critical attitudes often become a part of who we are if we are not listening to the Holy Spirit. Where does violent road rage come from–could it start from a little place of offense inside of those who let it blossom and grow? Our attitudes can grow into something ugly if they are not checked by the Holy Spirit!
Thank you for your comment–I appreciate being able to consider and clarify something I wrote–and hopefully, not cause any misunderstanding. Sue